Love, unconditionally
Ed Carroll
Issue date: 3/12/07 Section: Arts & Life
Sexual orientation can not stop the power of love.
Sexual orientation certainly has not made a difference to Melanie Jones, 37, who is the daughter of an out woman who has been open with her sexual orientation for more than 20 years.
"I love my mom - she rocks, and I am proud to introduce her to people," Jones said.
Jones' mother, who did not want to be interviewed, was her husband's wife for 27 years before coming out.
Husband and daughter found out simultaneously and then the couple divorced, she said.
She said she heard rumors from a friend, and she confronted her mother about it.
At the time, Jones was 17 years old.
But with her mother coming out, their bond was strengthened, she said.
"My relationship with my mother improved when she came out of the closet," Jones said. "I always knew something was different about my mom. As soon as I knew she was gay, it made things clearer."
While daughter remained loyal to her mother, the family did not grow up in an accepting community. She said that people in rural areas can be homophobic, and that can make it hard for someone to come out.
"I needed to be away from rural areas and homophobia. It's the big reason why I moved to the city," Jones said.
The move made her a better person, as she kept her mother with her in her heart, she said.
Melanie is also a member of Children of Lesbians and Gays Everywhere, a group that focuses on building communities, being advocates, having youth leadership developments and public education for children of lesbian, gay, bi and transgender parents, said Meredith Fenton, COLAGE program director.
"We truly consider anyone who is a child, youth or adult who has [or] had one or more LGBT parent a part of COLAGE whether they are officially a member or not," she said.
As Jones experienced in her youth, disapproval for same-sex couples has always been around, but "there is growing acceptance of LGBT people, families, marriage equality and queer youth," Fenton said.
Sexual orientation certainly has not made a difference to Melanie Jones, 37, who is the daughter of an out woman who has been open with her sexual orientation for more than 20 years.
"I love my mom - she rocks, and I am proud to introduce her to people," Jones said.
Jones' mother, who did not want to be interviewed, was her husband's wife for 27 years before coming out.
Husband and daughter found out simultaneously and then the couple divorced, she said.
She said she heard rumors from a friend, and she confronted her mother about it.
At the time, Jones was 17 years old.
But with her mother coming out, their bond was strengthened, she said.
"My relationship with my mother improved when she came out of the closet," Jones said. "I always knew something was different about my mom. As soon as I knew she was gay, it made things clearer."
While daughter remained loyal to her mother, the family did not grow up in an accepting community. She said that people in rural areas can be homophobic, and that can make it hard for someone to come out.
"I needed to be away from rural areas and homophobia. It's the big reason why I moved to the city," Jones said.
The move made her a better person, as she kept her mother with her in her heart, she said.
Melanie is also a member of Children of Lesbians and Gays Everywhere, a group that focuses on building communities, being advocates, having youth leadership developments and public education for children of lesbian, gay, bi and transgender parents, said Meredith Fenton, COLAGE program director.
"We truly consider anyone who is a child, youth or adult who has [or] had one or more LGBT parent a part of COLAGE whether they are officially a member or not," she said.
As Jones experienced in her youth, disapproval for same-sex couples has always been around, but "there is growing acceptance of LGBT people, families, marriage equality and queer youth," Fenton said.
Viewing Comments 1 - 7 of 10
Jonathan McAtee
posted 3/12/07 @ 9:54 PM EST
I find this to be another example of broken relationships and not appropriate for a "lifelong commitments" series. I noticed this whole article reflected the desires of the mother and did not bring to light the results on the father and other family members (what about grandparents, aunts and uncles?). (Continued…)
Melanie Jones
posted 3/13/07 @ 3:17 PM EST
Johnathan,
I have the pleasure of responding to your comments personally.
My parents relationship was horrible. My mother new she wanted to leave my father when I was 5, I later found out. (Continued…)
tttt
traciy f
posted 3/14/07 @ 7:02 PM EST
Melanie,
I'm impressed that your mother had the strength to own up to and be proud of who she is as a person not knowing what the consquences would be. (Continued…)
jennifer butler
jennifer
posted 3/14/07 @ 8:07 PM EST
I think Melanie makes a very good point when she discusses her mother's unconditional love for her. As I understand it, though I am new here, this topic is "love, unconditional" and does not delve in to what defines that. (Continued…)
Erika
posted 3/14/07 @ 8:23 PM EST
These are such nebulous concepts: Unconditional love; marriage; commitment; functional vs. dysfunctional; sexual identity; and so on...
For example: I am not sure that Jonathan's recalling of a family whose father had promiscuous affairs with other men is a good one. (Continued…)
michelle
michelle
posted 3/14/07 @ 9:25 PM EST
Melanie,
It sounds like this story has a happy ending for your family. It must be hard to come out in a small town after years of being in a straight marriage. (Continued…)
Jonathan McAtee
posted 3/15/07 @ 2:47 PM EST
I feel no embarrassment in sharing my ideas and opinions when anyone chooses to make their lives public and open for critisism. Everyone has an opinion, that is what makes us all, even you Melanie as you have demonstrated, close-minded to some extent. (Continued…)
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